Chained

I have been at War with myself again

It is a A silent, painful and frightening War

I have retreated into myself

Scared to come out

Not wanting to come out

I have been mute

My tongue has been ripped out- Just after my heart!

There have been signs

There are always signs deep within the thickness of my silence

Only those that are interested in reading the signs are able to understand my silent language

No one has searched for me

So my silence has been my friend and confidant

I have been at War with myself again

It is a A silent, painful and frightening War

The ugly duckling is back

And it had been so long

So long since we had been together

That I had distanced myself from memories of her cruelty.

It had been so long

So long since we had been together

That I had thought that we were done

I had thought that we had made peace

I had thought that we had set each other 3Free!

That notion now seems fanciful and foolish

Apparently she is not and will never be done with me

I have been at War with myself again

It is a A silent, painful and frightening War

There are always signs deep within the thickness of my silence.

The only one that can hear them is Me!

© KLove 2018

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I have tried to Tune into you on so many of these days.

These days where it has been or become so…..that I would not even be mad, historically wouldn’t matter

I tried so many times to tune into you, like before, I would channel you and you would Be there.

But there is nothing

There has been nothing

And then it dawns on me

I can no longer tune into you

I can no longer channel you

You can no longer hear me or feel my frequency

I can no longer Tune into You!

Because I am no longer connected!

Merely static and silence remains!

© KLove 2017

All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #mindfulliving #instagood #youngwomen #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo #femaleunity #youareok

#investinself#selfloveworkshops #kloveism

Amongst the Silence

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love, how I interact and don’t interact, how I feel and don’t feel, who I like and who I don’t like, why I like and don’t like, why I will never be the same with some people again but can still love them from a distance, why I prefer to be with just me yet crave presence, how I can be with just me and yet crave a presence, who I see in my sadness and who I hear in my joy, why I feel so much yet feel numb for the most part!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am! Through all of my times, through all of my periods, through all of the getting through, I have become able in the ability to own who I am!

It may not be apparent to you!

I may not communicate it!

I don’t have to!

It’s matter for me, me and me too!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love,

Quietly

In my space

Over, under and inside my processing!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love!

I have become able in the ability to own My Aura, My Energy, My being!

I have become able in the ability to own all that is Me!

© KLove 21/02/17
All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #mindfulliving #instagood #youngwomen #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo #femaleunity #youareok

#investinself#selfloveworkshops #kloveism

So Tired

If the dreams are internal windows

What are the nightmares

Messages?

Warnings?

What is the benefit of the nightmare other than a reminder that the Hunan body can survive on less than 8 hours sleep.

Less than 4. 3 infact!

Or maybe to remind of strength, because when you wake up petrified or gasping for air, or crying, or maybe all of the above, you have to have some kind of strength to close your eyes again right? Knowing that there may be more to come.

© KLove 21/02/17
All Rights Reserved

Sharing is caring!

Life is full of signs signs and more signs!Has been a lot and exhausting lately but I am committed to kloveism! I am committed to spreading Love and assisting and inciting healing! So I continue to share.

This beautiful soul randomly connected with me. She shared and i listened.
Shared words are for sharing!

I shared these words with a light that chose to share with me!
Now I’m sharing them with you as when I read them back I realised that I needed them too!
“I write what I feel because I write as Therapy!

I write my feelings out. Sad, happy, lustful whatever it may be.

We spend a lot of years holding feelings and emotions in because we are conditioned to believe that there is one way.

We don’t want to be seen as sad or feeling, so we as you say “try” not to be sad or feeling.
But that’s not real or healthy.

That is exactly what causes depression and anxiety and escapism in drink and drugs and sex.
We have to engage with our feelings and emotions whatever they may be because they are ours and they are internal so we are entitled to them and entitled to process them as we please!
I’m an introvert (not a fan of labels as I am soul and love not a thing, but some things are easier for people to understand or digest with one I suppose) so sharing does not come easy to me, however I do it to empower others to speak their truth in their way, for them so that they can heal.
It is a reality that life is not always easy.

For some it is harder than most!

There is no shame in honestly and openly expressing this.

In fact it’s quite the opposite.
You have to do what feels right for you.

You know what affects you as much as what waters your growth so just keep doing you!
She reminded me why I started this!

Unbeknownst to her, she reminded me that I have things to finish!!!
You keep going!

Keep doing you.

You are beautiful, blessed,loved and needed!!!! ”
BIG L❤️VE

KLove

© KLove 21/02/17 
All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #mindfulliving #instagood #youngwomen #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo #femaleunity #youareok

#investinself#selfloveworkshops #kloveism

IN-Ventory

I have to keep checking in on myself
I am having to repeatedly ask myself If I am ok.

To check that I am keeping it together….

Because currently, presently, in this climate, in these last few months of 9 months of continuous fuckry and fuckers….

It would be all to easy to unravel!

And that’s OK!

To know it, to feel it, to speak it and on it is OK!

I am not here to pretend.

I am in no competition with anyone named Jones!

I am not here to keep up with any falsification or idealism!

I am not here in this space, on this forum, in this time to play games!

I will neither hide nor seek!

I will be

I can only be and speak the truth in and for Me!

Which I have learnt is the same as for us!

I am here to speak and talk on what most wont!

When there is sun and happiness I revel in and under and I spread it like young love on heat!!

So in the same way when there is nonsense and bullshit and anxt, I call it, I speak on it, I engage with and confront because if I don’t…… 

If I don’t I dishonour my Unique!

I have said it before, I will say it again and I will continue to say that positivity is not constant sunshine, smiles and fun!

Positivity is the the decisions that you make, the approach that you take, how you handle and outwardly express and manage the alone, how you walk and find your way in and out of the dark, how you decipher your position when it seems to going terribly wrong!

Positivity is your ability to hold others up when strong is something that has felt void in you for so very long!

© KLove 21/02/17 
All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #mindfulliving #instagood #youngwomen #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo #femaleunity #youareok

#investinself#selfloveworkshops #kloveismbrand #kloveismsupport

#klovesyou

The 09th September 2017!

It’s not strange 
I know how it works

The universe works in its own way

You will be where you are meant to be 

You will be removed from where you are not meant to be

You will be where you are needed

As a light worker 

You will always be where you are needed 

And you will be removed where your work is done

It doesn’t always feel nice

It is not always nice not being in control 

Today however 

Today was

I dithered

Tube or train

I dithered 

Now or the next one

Eventually I made the move

Always rushing

Always consumed by rushing

Always consumed!!!!!

And there she was

I get on the tube 

I had stepped on the carriage before her one and got off 

Because this was obviously where I was meant to be

I had a plan of where I would be getting off

Where I should be getting off

But there she was 

She looked so small in the little seat

She was sobbing and her mascara was smeared all over her face

Her tissue looked incompetent and dirty

People can be so British 

They just sit and stare

I was born here but my orgins make that behaviour foreign to me!

I didn’t ask if she was ok

Clearly she wasn’t

I took her hand 

She looked up and smiled

I said

Amazing how no one can see you isn’t it!

I said

I see you!!!

Maybe you need to hear that today

I see you!!

I said

Is funny

You could be me

You are me

This was me just a few days ago

Except I was at a bus stop and I don’t wear make up so no mascara to evidence the turmoil

I said

It’s hard 

I see you

I said

I couldn’t help it

The other day

On any of the days that you have been me

The other day 

I sobbed

It came from nowhere

I cried for Janice 

She died

She is dead

She was 48

I’m 40

I cried for my spirit that is slowly slipping away from me

I cried for the loss of him

He is alive 

But he has left

He just left 

And now he has to be dead to me

That’s kind of worse….

I said 

I cried for the loss of my strength 

I cried because the strength of the pain is sometimes to strong to be muzzled!

No one said a word to me 

I said

They just looked on all British like

So 

I see you I said

She didn’t let go of my hand

You will be ok 

I said

You will

Trust me

I know things 

I wouldn’t be here if you wasn’t meant to know that you will be ok!

She sobbed more

I held onto her hand

I missed several stops

I didn’t even ask her name

It didn’t seem to matter

She was me and I was her so it didn’t seem to matter

I reached into my bag and as I offered her a wet wipe the other one us that had got on and immediately sat on her other side, simultaneously offered a pink petal from a flower

There are no accidents

Who walks around with pink petals in brown hand bags!

She smiled then

She tried to say thank you through the tears 

As I got up to get off I gave her a hug

She held on so tight

I whispered that she will be ok

It will be ok

You are seen 

You are Loved

You are needed 

You will be ok

You will get through this feeling

Maybe not gracefully 

But you will get through it

You are me so if I can you can do the same 

She held on tight

I feel lighter now

Maybe I needed her as much she never knew that she would receive me!

Just when I think I’m empty

I am reminded that I am Love and Love is me!

I cannot be depleted!

I will always be where I am meant to be!

©21/02/17 
All Rights Reserved