Onwards

There has been so very much that has come and gone in 2017.

There has been consistency in Loss/Death/ Pain and Sadness.

There has been deaths of those still living!

There has been Devastation

There has been Change and Stagnancy

Books that are still un finished 🙍🏽🤦🏾‍♀️(me)

Words not said!

Absent apologies that were not needed for closure but for acknowledgement!

Support that ought to have come, yet didn’t from those said to love you, from those whom you being you have always supported.

All in all it has been a year of Muchness!

However……

You/ Me/ Us have survived it!

We pressers onwards in feelings and states of Pain, Devastation, Isolation, Confusion and Despair and Fear!

We have bent and flexed in and around Change!

We have Adapted!

We have Grown and Out Grown!

We have continued to Shine and to Outshine!!!!!!!

Most importantly….we have continued to Love!!! We have continued to Love in the absence of Love from others and even ourselves!

This year has been so very Much!

However it has also shown us so very Much and taught us so very Much about ourselves, about our internal strength, about our resilience and about our character.

It has shown us (appreciated or not) who we really are and most importantly who those around us Really Are!!!!!!

Allowing us to make informed decisions about the role that those around us should Really be playing in our lives and how much of a role they are deserved of us playing in theirs.

This year has been so very Much!

However it has been a year of Much Self Inventory, Growth and Over-Standing!

We will never be the same!

However, the Universe knows that in most if not all of these areas We were in need of drastic and immediate change!

The Buddha says that “before great change there is ultimate Chaos”!

We can now move on. We can now truly start over! We are now able to let go, yet hold people accountable for their part in any of our pain or hurt! Despite acknowledgment or ownership of their wrongs and/or impact!

They no longer dictate how we should feel of be affected by their actions or in actions.

This year has been so very Much!

However we are Stronger having made it through!!!

We move forward, No grudges held!

We move forward adorned in our Knowledge, Power, Blessings and our Love!

We move onwards knowing that Knowledge is every sense of the word will always = Our Power!

Nothing before it’s time!

Unlike most I use my social media to share real life thoughts, feelings, experiences, in the hopes that people will not feel isolated or ashamed. Also to encourage others to do the same.

Whatever this (calendar) New Year this 11/2 Year brings we will get through it.

Together!

It may not always look graceful, but we will get through it. There is no other way than forward. We don’t have the option or the luxury of standing still so we will Always keep it moving!

We have got this!

I have got you!

The US in our WE is OUR vehicle!

K L❤️VE’s YOU!

Happy New Page!

Big Love

Always More Light

😘😘😘Mwaaahhhh😘😘😘

© KLove 21/02/17
All Rights
ved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #mindfulliving #instagood #youngwomen #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo #femaleunity #youareok

#investinself#selfloveworkshops #kloveism

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Amongst the Silence

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love, how I interact and don’t interact, how I feel and don’t feel, who I like and who I don’t like, why I like and don’t like, why I will never be the same with some people again but can still love them from a distance, why I prefer to be with just me yet crave presence, how I can be with just me and yet crave a presence, who I see in my sadness and who I hear in my joy, why I feel so much yet feel numb for the most part!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am! Through all of my times, through all of my periods, through all of the getting through, I have become able in the ability to own who I am!

It may not be apparent to you!

I may not communicate it!

I don’t have to!

It’s matter for me, me and me too!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love,

Quietly

In my space

Over, under and inside my processing!

I have become able in the ability to own who I am, what I do, how I feel, how I love!

I have become able in the ability to own My Aura, My Energy, My being!

I have become able in the ability to own all that is Me!

© KLove 21/02/17
All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #mindfulliving #instagood #youngwomen #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo #femaleunity #youareok

#investinself#selfloveworkshops #kloveism

So Tired

If the dreams are internal windows

What are the nightmares

Messages?

Warnings?

What is the benefit of the nightmare other than a reminder that the Hunan body can survive on less than 8 hours sleep.

Less than 4. 3 infact!

Or maybe to remind of strength, because when you wake up petrified or gasping for air, or crying, or maybe all of the above, you have to have some kind of strength to close your eyes again right? Knowing that there may be more to come.

© KLove 21/02/17
All Rights Reserved

It Was White

Testing
Testing
Pen check 123
Can you hear me!
It has been so long
Too long, so long, since I have exercised/fed this need.
I wasn’t sure that I would remember/be able to do it!
To write this down, to write it down, to write at all!
Its been so long
I’ve has so much to say, I just didnt know how to remember to say it this way!
The tears are are flowing now, more than the words or maybe against them, like a pacemaker- making sure that i dont quit!
The tears are flowing, one large, hot and heavy drop at a time.
People are looking
I dont care
Isn’t the saying Tea and Sympathy?
Well as this is Starbucks my tears should be welcome here!
I am going to get this out or at least try because I dont know if or when i will be back here again.
These blank pages have never looked or smelt so good!
They have never looked as much as like home as they do today!
They have never resembled the friend that I really need as much as today!
The last thing that I wanted was to open this book and still have his words in my mouth and in my heart!
But they are🙍🏽
(I’m sorry
I feel like I have let you/us down!
I’m so tired
literally but also of all of this here and now!
I can close my eyes and hear the pills and potions feeling again.
or should I say that I have been feeling it for a while, again-( deaths, pending deaths, change but nothing changing, the walls, the doors, the silence, the repetition, the loneliness, the rejection, the embarrsament, the passive anger, the fake smiles, the sleepness nights, the just geting through the days- I have been hearing the feeling again for a while now)
I cant talk to anyone else
silence at the mention of his name
My paranoia is peak
The level of awkwardness is peaking
I could say seeing him is the antagonist
But the reality is that I have seen him everyday in my thoughts and dreams!
So the Physical made little or no difference to the feelings.
It wasn’t the seeing!
He looked well and happy
He didn’t stop
He didn’t try to stop me
He looked on and then drove off!
He didn’t look back
He is/ was gone
That is what it is! what the feelings have attached to
He didn’t stop
He didn’t look back!!!
He is gone
I walked on
As though it was nothing
It was
It was a lot
It was everything!
It wasn’t discussed
Swept under, ignored as though it didn’t/doesn’t matter that he didn’t stop
That after everything and again, He is just gone!
And i’m no longer historically angry, i’m no longer attached to what he has done, what he did,because i can now feel and what i feel is devastated!
Exactly 6 months to the day and at after 7 nearly to the hour that I last saw him! Thats half a year!
Exactly 6 months and nearly to the hour. 28th March to 28th September at devastated PM!
He looked well and happy
I shouldn’t be so surprised
He ought to after all of those months of sucking on My Love- like a leech, sucking me dry!
He ought to look well
That’s what My Love does
It is magic
It Heals
I dont remember what he sounds like
His voice was always my favourite element of him. The part that always I feared losing most and as I am writing I cant hear it.
When did I stop hearing it?
When did I stop noticing that it was fading?
I can still recognise my Love though
And although just a few seconds, I could see that he is still donning it! He wears it well!
In his smile, in his happy looking wellness!
I should want it back, but I dont. He can keep it. He at least will still keep me in some way with him!
He is gone
Again
And this time it is for sure!
I looked back
They didn’t see, neither did He, because he didn’t look back, he was moving forward, onto/in the direction of the next thing!
This time he is gone, driving forward and around onto/in the direction of the next thing, (how fortunate for them!)
healed to an extent, but better after months spent wrapped up in my love, after months spent by me loving love into bruises and chaos and him!
He is finally gone, him and my friend!
He is gone
And my final memory is of the back of a car, driving forward into the distance and in the direction of the next thing!
He is gone.
© KLove 2017
All Rights Reserved

Working from home!

I love the rain
When I am not in it that is

Well sometimes when I am in it

Sometimes it feels cleansing

Running in it feels like I am escaping – I don’t know why 

In the West Indies it is a warm reprieve

It is heavy and exciting

In the West Indies it looks like magic dropping from the sky.

For the most part I love the rain when I am watching it pour down a window. It doesn’t have to be mine

It looks so pretty

Like wet words and clear emotions 

It looks like droplets of poetry in the process of formation 

It’s presence feels eerily calming despite it’s repetitive sound

I am scared of the thunder and the lightening, yet I appreciate the ferocity of its bang

It’s odd how I can be scared of yet like the Big Bang!

It makes me feel alive!

It’s like it’s saying I am here!

I am here take note of me!

I am here sit up and take note of me!

It’s so bold

Angry and unapologetic 

(I think that if I were to evert let go, I would Bang like the Thunder and I would light up like the Lightening!)

Whilst the rain feels like a blanket to protect you from the thunders rage

I love the rain

Maybe because I spent many days and hours loving it with someone that I loved

That was a long time ago though

So long ago

But I still think of him presently and often

Especially when it rains

More so when there is thunder and lightening 

He never got annoyed with me being scared

He would hold on to me instead 

That was a long time ago though

So long ago

But I still think of him presently and often

Especially when it rains

Maybe more today because of this recent news. This recent delivery of yet more sadness, this recent possibility of a sadness that I don’t know how to process!

It has me conflicted

I won’t handle this one well!

Only he will truly understand why

He was there

That was a long time ago though

So long ago

But I still think of him presently and often

Especially when it rains!

© KLove 2017

All Rights Reserved

Scratched- (your) Name (is on) That Tune

There are so many lyrics So many melodies and harmonies that sing …. of you.

It seems like just yesterday that I loved you till the end of time! 

That I wanted to dance with you outside in the rain!

That you were my Love song, one of them at least!

That I wanted to rock you eternally!

I thought that I would love you endlessly

It seems like just yesterday that I thought that Love had found its way to me!
I had thought that we would be Lovers!

But 

These tables keep turning

And 

Now the harmonies and melodies sing..

Who the fuck do you think I is?

You really Don’t Know Bout My Crew

Press Triggah We No Press People Button

Bwoy no put yuh hat weh yuh cyaan reach it!

Pussy 

This is a warning warning warning!

The Love songs have got dark because of you!

There are so many lyrics 

So many melodies and harmonies that sing …. of you.

You are not who I can run to when I need love or to fill this empty space with laughter!

You no longer bring me joy

And

Now

After all of this time

After all of these times!

I am weary

All that time spent preparing!

You are clearly not who I should be preparing for

But 

You really did feel like the sweetest thing that I have known

And

As I write the tears are rolling rolling rolling 

And

I feel like I just died

But

I am not liking this ghetto romance

I can no longer stomach this Emotional Roller Coaster- Loving you was never good for Me

You have had me chasing Fools Gold!!

I have to check out of this heartbreak hotel 

But

I can’t get you out of my mind!

And

I still want to give you caramel kisses

No she, can love you like I do! 

It’s amazing that even after all of the all of it

A small part of me still hears the melodies singing…..

Don’t Go!!!

Please stay

I need you here with me!

There are so many lyrics 

So many melodies and harmonies that sing …. of you.

How could you break my heart! – (we went through it all together! You let me down!)

How could you not see past the heaven in my eyes!

You have taken my happy feelings 

We are no longer one!

I’ve got so much things to say right now!

But 

I won’t 

I’ve got to find peace of mind!
In the future you will now want my love 

And

I will sing that you must be out of your fucking mind!

Your Love will always be hustle

And

Although I will always love you

I have no more time for your silly games

You are living in a fools paradise

You can’t be a Man about it!

You can’t see me!

I am Magnificent 

My love is and will always be King!

There are so many lyrics 

So many melodies and harmonies that sing …. of you.

But

You can’t keep this Good Woman Down

You can not negate my Greatness!

I will not Retograde!

I will remember that I am 20ft Tall

I will receive More in Time

Jah Chariot a roll an it nah leave me behind!

© KLove 2017

All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo#kloveismbrand #kloveism#klovesU

That Dream

That DreamThat dream was intense

My skin is clammy

That dream was immensely graphic 

I’m almost emabarrased to write it

Is it really possible to do that?

Can legs separate that far apart?

Can one a person climax so many more times than once

The thickness was so long

Is that possible?

The potential runs deep

Woke up feeling stretched out with absent heels on my feet!

Wrist feeling like memories of being held hostage!

The body feels tenderised!

That dream was a lot 

In that dream so were we!

© KLove 2017

All Rights Reserved

#writer #femalenonpoet #biographicwritting #poetry #selflove #selfhealing #artist #feminism #blacklove #mindfulness #buildingwomen#buildingus#lovingmentoo#kloveismbrand #kloveism#klovesU