Sad Song

I have been going over and over this decision all week. 

It’s a decision that was already decided to be fair.

A decision that I have no control over deciding as there is only this one that can realistically be made!

I don’t like

I don’t want it

I hate it

It has made me physically and emotionally sick all week

It has sat at the bottom of my stomach and pushed up on this constant nausea that I have been feeling

It has like a long evil parasite crawled to the top of my head and strangled molecules and particles so that I have had constant headaches and dizziness 

Fuck this Fucking decision

It Fucking sucks and I hate it

But I know that it had to be made

I looked in the mirror this morning and it stared back at me ( the decision)

I could feel the nausea and the dizziness responding to it and the anxiety that it also has been causing

I could see it through my eyes

But I noticed that the colour in them had come back

The light brown and the glow that should reside at the back were there 

I looked taller also

I felt taller and straighter

For so long now I have been feeling low, small, bent and broken!

The decision smiled at me

In an in “I’m not your enemy” way 

In a way that said “I’ve got your back,

I have to be here, I had to be made,

I have to be seen through, so that you can get back to Loving You!”
© KLove 2017

All Rights Reserved


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