I not sure how or why I am in this position again.
I am not sure how or why I am feeling these not the same but familiar feelings again.
Yet I am sure that I am feeling something!
He has appeared and stopped in my way. He came from nowhere.
I wasn’t expecting, or wanting, or channelling him, yet he came. He is here.
Only a few words shared between us, only one conversation!
He told me that he felt as though our souls were connecting.
Such beautiful words.
Words that I have never before heard from a him.
Words that I would never have imagined could be understood or felt by a him.
Words that I never could have imagined would have been said by a him to me!
I knew then that he would Ignite something in me.
I could feel his heart, and his energy and it felt like it matched me.
It felt like he was the male me.
It felt like we were kindred spirits!
When I heard his true voice, I knew that his smell would be intoxicating.
It didn’t matter that he was not who I would normally ascetically see.
When he said those words I felt his spirit float towards and then impart all over me.
When he said those words I felt his colour, I knew that like me, he was Golden.
When he said those words the bass and also softness behind them sounded like those from the mouth of a King.
He said that it didn’t matter to him that he hadn’t seen the visual me.
What was important was that he felt from our exchanges that our souls were connecting.
I got that familiar feeling again……..
I wasn’t expecting, or wanting, or channelling him yet he came, he is here.
And now I cannot unsee or unfeel this whatever it is/ him.
On the day that our eyes first met, from way back at the end of the room I could feel him.
I cannot explain the feeling of connection and knowing that came over me.
When he approached me, my heart whispered something to me. I don’t know why and I cannot explain why it was reacting.
When he hugged me, when he held my hand, I did not want him to let go.
I cannot explain the feeling, it made no sense to me, but I know that I felt at odds when he let go. Both times.
I knew that I did not want him to let go. Both times.
I am very aware that loneliness is obsessed with me. So it may be that this is all her, her trickery, her new found way of messing with me.
Because of her I doubt whether the feelings are/were real or whether it was/is her making me feel them.
He hasn’t called since that day, no message either, no carrier pigeon, no other words from him, just radio silence and the thoughts of him.
I am not liking feeling this again.
I am not happy to be feeling these familiar feelings again.
Loneliness and I made a pact!
Just us two against the world. She has convinced me that she is the only one that wants me you see!
I am not liking feeling like this again!
Constantly checking my phone in the hope that some communication will magically appear on the screen.
I know better, so I shouldn’t be in this familiar (although far from as serious ) situation again!
I wasn’t, expecting, or wanting, or channeling him, yet he came, he is here, and I cannot un- feel!
I cannot explain this feeling, it makes no sense to me, but it feels real, it feels like something.
I don’t know why he said what he did, or whether he will say anything to me again.
But I cannot help but hope that he will. That he will manifest again.
Yet, I know that it may all just have been a paths crossing, not yet time to meet thing.
And so on my paper is where he shall remain!
© KLove 2014