The fat lady is singing

I woke up
Well I actually jumped out of my sleep
I touched my face and wondered where the tears had come from.
I felt short of breath
Panicked
My throat felt so dry.

He was in the dream.
It felt so vivid
I realised that my pyjama top was damp with sweat
I could smell his smell.

He was in the dream
He was the 1st version of himself
The Love story version

He was in the dream
He smiled that I Love you smile and opened up his arms.
My body reacted, I wanted to run forward, to run into them but I was stuck to the spot, rigid, something was stopping me.
I tried to tantrum myself free, but nothing worked, I just could not move.
When I looked up, my eyes became my enemy, when I looked up, I dropped to my knees.

He was in the dream
But so was she!

So were they!

Him, her, and what had to be their child.

He was in the dream
He smiled that I Love you smile and he opened up his arms,
But when I looked up it was apparent that he was not beckoning me!

He didn’t even see me.

He was in the dream but so was she.

She was pretty.
The child had his face,
But like her, much lighter than him or me.

The child had his face
They were a three.
I looked down, I tried not to cry, that was meant to be us, I was meant to be she. She should have been me.

He was in the dream
But now I am awake,
I want to go back to sleep
But I can’t!

I can’t stop the shaking
I can’t stop the trickling tears
I can’t control my breath
I can feel my heart breaking. I can hear it too.
I can’t go back to sleep
Because what I saw, what I felt, was so real.
I believed it
I felt it

I understood the message.

He was hers, she was his, they were a family.

He was in the dream
He smiled that I Love you smile
But now I know that he wasn’t smiling at me.

I lay back down
Rest my head on my pillow
Tonight I will sleep with my eyes open.
I will sleep like this until I erase this nightmare from my eyes.

He was in the dream
But he was no longer mine.

© KLove 2013

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “The fat lady is singing

  1. Pingback: The fat lady is singing | poetic single mama

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s