I have been sitting in this silence for over 2 hours now!
Just me the silence and nothingness.
A thousand thoughts moving around in my mind. Sprinting competing with each other.
Yet if you asked me for one, I would as blank as my mind feels right now.
The tv is on, I must have pressed mute. I don’t remember pressing the mute button.
I don’t even know why I did.
I remember that all of a sudden it all seemed so loud.
However during this silence, the noise failed to follow the instruction of the control. It must have been affronted as it has now pitched up a notch!
I had forgotten how loud silence can be.
I had forgotten that we (silence and I) have this love hate.
Because I know that after the quiet comes the storm!
I feel it coming.
I have ignored all of the the other signs. Dealing with, was on my to do list. But the silence knows my intention, my pattern,my heart. The silence knows that I don’t want to.
The silence knows that at times, if left to my own devices I am no use to me. I am not good to me.
The silence sees the manifestation in my body. In my normally clear skin. The silence knows of what I am lacking, of what I am holding and refusing to let in.
So it now commands my attention! Refuses to be boxed, put back, refuses my requests for acquiescence and facilitation.
The silence has made it clear that I will have to deal and process and manage!
The silence has reminded me of my promise to never give in.
I now remember why the silence and I are sometimes friends.