Do you struggle with this?
Admittedly (but unashamedly) I do.
Not in terms of who I am, what I am about, what I represent. No. Because I am and will always be a manifestation Love.
I’m referring to the outer stuff, like size, physic, appearance, your quirks, ugly duckling syndrome as I call it.
Now we all have baggage and I truly believe that when you have the right people around you, you will know, because they will be about helping you unpack! The right man won’t use your baggage against you, he will offer to help you unpack and he will know that he has plenty of his own and ask for your help with his.
There are days when I look in the mirror and think to myself (my naked self) wow! You are flaming sexy. I am totally feeling myself. I can strut around in my knickers, heels and jewellery and feel like I am the sexiest girl in the world! Lol ( I will come back to this. You really need to try it. It’s liberating!)
But there are other days, and these days are unfortunately more frequent, where I don’t like what I see and I struggle with:
Is it because I am too thin
Is it because I don’t wear make up
Is it because I wrap my natural hair
Is it because I don’t wear a weave
Is it because my bum isn’t big (although I maintain that it’s sexy)
That I am single and ( in a male reciprocated way ) loveless.
You often hear people say that in order to attain love from others you have to love yourself 1st.
I agree and disagree with this.
Yes. One should always love themselves. There is something wonderful and beautiful in all of us. As you do need to know what these things are. You have to know how to project them. You have to own them!
However, I think it is normal to waiver and to experience thoughts such as those that I have mentioned above. It doesn’t mean that you are any less worthy of love or that you shouldn’t pursue or be open to it because in my view, love is the ultimate energy, the super energy, and as such being in receipt of it heals many wounds and changes thought processes. Being in receipt of love can and often does make you feel better inside.
There are many avenues of self love to explore and discuss. And I hope to discuss a few more over time. This aspect of it is just what was on my mind today. I suppose because the ugly duckling face is the one that I have been seeing the most of late.
I wont change though. Tomorrow I will still leave this house with my head wrapped and my face will still be make up free because that is me! That is how I feel comfortable. Whoever loves me will have to accept that this is how I choose to be.
Always Love and Light
© KLove 2013